Hey, I squeezed a 115.8 (again with the .8?) out of the New Digital this morning! This is good -- the lowest number that the New Digital and I have shared. I might actually see the underside of 115 by next Monday, which is my immediate goal. And maybe it's just my imagination, but my belly fat looks better today. Smoother. Younger. "Hello, you attractive fat, you!" Okay, I'm pretty sure I'm imagining things. But that got me thinking: "Is all fat created equal? How many different kinds of fat are there?"
I went right to the trusty internet, where I learned that, there are three kinds of fat -- fat in your blood stream (who cares about that? Oh, maybe my cardiologist), fat under the skin (subcutaneous fat -- this would be my dimply thighs) and the dreaded, pernicious, belly fat, aka the "omentum," LOVE handles, beer gut, spare tire, intra-abdominal adiposity, and/or, my personal favorite, the muffin top. And, although the evil belly fat is the most baddest fat of all, it's also the first thing to go when you start getting in shape. So maybe those fat cells are starting to shrink up, giving me tighter, smoother belly fat? (Remember, we learned earlier that new fat cells come along, but the old fat cells never leave -- you know, make new friends, but keep the old; one is silver and the other gold? Fat cells: they're your friends. Your oldest and dearest friends.) But, even if they are skinnier fat cells, they're still hanging around, and they're still too big. Oh, and I guess the back fat that looks so attractive under my tight shirts is just extra subcutaneous fat that I have lying around. Gross! That needs to go too -- right after my omentum.
I went right to the trusty internet, where I learned that, there are three kinds of fat -- fat in your blood stream (who cares about that? Oh, maybe my cardiologist), fat under the skin (subcutaneous fat -- this would be my dimply thighs) and the dreaded, pernicious, belly fat, aka the "omentum," LOVE handles, beer gut, spare tire, intra-abdominal adiposity, and/or, my personal favorite, the muffin top. And, although the evil belly fat is the most baddest fat of all, it's also the first thing to go when you start getting in shape. So maybe those fat cells are starting to shrink up, giving me tighter, smoother belly fat? (Remember, we learned earlier that new fat cells come along, but the old fat cells never leave -- you know, make new friends, but keep the old; one is silver and the other gold? Fat cells: they're your friends. Your oldest and dearest friends.) But, even if they are skinnier fat cells, they're still hanging around, and they're still too big. Oh, and I guess the back fat that looks so attractive under my tight shirts is just extra subcutaneous fat that I have lying around. Gross! That needs to go too -- right after my omentum.
So, I have met the enemy and it is diverse and dimply. How best to defeat the evil fat? A search of the web confirmed the ugly truth I already knew-- there is no quick fix for my belly fat, or any other fat. (Although, I hear that it's NOT my fault -- that stress and cortisol make me fat and I can get a pill for that if I want. Plus, if I order NOW, I can get twice as many pills for just an extra $30 in shipping and handling. I wonder what their annual sales are? I bet I'd be jealous.) The only solution is continued aerobic and strength training for the LONG-freakin'-haul. Depressing, isnt' it?
Good thing I'm doing another cardio workout this morning. BURN, Baby, burn that ugly fat. And I am armed with not one, but THREE, bags of baby spinach. (I am Popeye.) I'm gonna need it, since I've got two difficult evenings this weekend -- cocktails and pizza for Thom's birthday tonight, and, uh-oh, Durant's for dinner tomorrow night. Does Durant's even have anything other than Scotch-on-the-rocks (x3), served with half a dead cow, followed by cigars all around?
As always, I'll let you know how it goes.
Saute onion, stir in spinach, continue to saute, add grated Parmesan cheese (it's low fat), and freshly ground pepper. A few bits of crumbled bacon on top won't kill you, either. (looooove me some bacon, baby!)
ReplyDeleteI get the "point whatever" on my digital scale, too, which makes me obsess about it all the more - those tenths of pounds are EVIL incarnate! My "Thinner" (Yeah, that's a laugh riot), is stored handily right under the kitchen stove - I thought having it close to the "source" might be helpful - and it might be - for someone else. I've discovered that I can simply stand on it and open the fridge simultaneously.
Back Fat?! Dear God, it is creeping up behind me, too! Bad Fat, Bad!
Haven't scrapped in ages, but baby, I've got the gear! The full-size scrap supply trolley - that's right - it has a telescoping handle so I can practically go four-wheeling with the thing.
Well, now that I'm all caught up with the diet efforts from Planet Tracy, I'm off to unload all the crap from the trunk of my car. Pot luck on Sunday? I'll try to remember to bring something loaded with cheese and bacon! (Bwahahahaha... I kill me...)
Evil Ena, I like you so much because you are so much like me. HOWEVER, if you bring bacon on Sunday night, you are dead to me. Hear? Welcome back!
ReplyDeleteHave you noticed how much we talk about food?
ReplyDeleteI made beautiful olive oil baked potatoes for dinner last night, which I then covered with shreds of butter, salt , pepper, and shredded sharp cheddar. I could not fathom baked potatoes without more on them as the entree. Which is why it occurred to me to try the no nitrites, organic peppered turkey bacon with the potatoes. My son and I agree, this is not bacon. I think it is basically thinly sliced turkey dark meat Spam. Better in the abstract than on the plate, though it wasn't bad. Just frying a thinly sliced piece of ham is a better idea, which I will use next time.
Let's not go into the rise n bake at home Trader Joe's chocolate croissants I made later. They were good, by the way, but I should have readthefst content in the store- I'd have left them there.