Hey, I squeezed a 115.8 (again with the .8?) out of the New Digital this morning! This is good -- the lowest number that the New Digital and I have shared. I might actually see the underside of 115 by next Monday, which is my immediate goal. And maybe it's just my imagination, but my belly fat looks better today. Smoother. Younger. "Hello, you attractive fat, you!" Okay, I'm pretty sure I'm imagining things. But that got me thinking: "Is all fat created equal? How many different kinds of fat are there?"
I went right to the trusty internet, where I learned that, there are three kinds of fat -- fat in your blood stream (who cares about that? Oh, maybe my cardiologist), fat under the skin (subcutaneous fat -- this would be my dimply thighs) and the dreaded, pernicious, belly fat, aka the "omentum," LOVE handles, beer gut, spare tire, intra-abdominal adiposity, and/or, my personal favorite, the muffin top. And, although the evil belly fat is the most baddest fat of all, it's also the first thing to go when you start getting in shape. So maybe those fat cells are starting to shrink up, giving me tighter, smoother belly fat? (Remember, we learned earlier that new fat cells come along, but the old fat cells never leave -- you know, make new friends, but keep the old; one is silver and the other gold? Fat cells: they're your friends. Your oldest and dearest friends.) But, even if they are skinnier fat cells, they're still hanging around, and they're still too big. Oh, and I guess the back fat that looks so attractive under my tight shirts is just extra subcutaneous fat that I have lying around. Gross! That needs to go too -- right after my omentum.
I went right to the trusty internet, where I learned that, there are three kinds of fat -- fat in your blood stream (who cares about that? Oh, maybe my cardiologist), fat under the skin (subcutaneous fat -- this would be my dimply thighs) and the dreaded, pernicious, belly fat, aka the "omentum," LOVE handles, beer gut, spare tire, intra-abdominal adiposity, and/or, my personal favorite, the muffin top. And, although the evil belly fat is the most baddest fat of all, it's also the first thing to go when you start getting in shape. So maybe those fat cells are starting to shrink up, giving me tighter, smoother belly fat? (Remember, we learned earlier that new fat cells come along, but the old fat cells never leave -- you know, make new friends, but keep the old; one is silver and the other gold? Fat cells: they're your friends. Your oldest and dearest friends.) But, even if they are skinnier fat cells, they're still hanging around, and they're still too big. Oh, and I guess the back fat that looks so attractive under my tight shirts is just extra subcutaneous fat that I have lying around. Gross! That needs to go too -- right after my omentum.
So, I have met the enemy and it is diverse and dimply. How best to defeat the evil fat? A search of the web confirmed the ugly truth I already knew-- there is no quick fix for my belly fat, or any other fat. (Although, I hear that it's NOT my fault -- that stress and cortisol make me fat and I can get a pill for that if I want. Plus, if I order NOW, I can get twice as many pills for just an extra $30 in shipping and handling. I wonder what their annual sales are? I bet I'd be jealous.) The only solution is continued aerobic and strength training for the LONG-freakin'-haul. Depressing, isnt' it?
Good thing I'm doing another cardio workout this morning. BURN, Baby, burn that ugly fat. And I am armed with not one, but THREE, bags of baby spinach. (I am Popeye.) I'm gonna need it, since I've got two difficult evenings this weekend -- cocktails and pizza for Thom's birthday tonight, and, uh-oh, Durant's for dinner tomorrow night. Does Durant's even have anything other than Scotch-on-the-rocks (x3), served with half a dead cow, followed by cigars all around?
As always, I'll let you know how it goes.
