The mouth is larger than the squidge. Or, you shouldn't say EVERYTHING you're thinking. Okay, maybe that's just me.

Well, the good news is that my squidge will NEVER be as big as my mouth. So I'm at happy hour at a friend's last night right after my post about how funny and what a relief it would be if the squidge was a big tumor instead of fat, and I'm workin' that schtick, and they aren't finding the big C nearly as funny as I am. And I'm like "but you can cut it out, and I mean a nice, happy kind of cancer," and they're still not agreeing with me, so I'm like "you know, like melanoma, because everyone gets that and they just cut it right off of you and you're fine, right?" Well, not so much. Turns out that Rhonda's husband DIED from melanoma. Oops. Apparently melanoma is not such a nice, friendly, happy kind of cancer and it can metastasize and go to your brain, and yes, you can die. So, okay, I'm an ass (but we knew that, didn't we?), and maybe it would not be so good if the squidge turned out to be cancer or something (although it would still be a relief to know that it wasn't my FAULT that I got the squidge). And to make things worse, I can not stop smiling and giggling a bit, not because cancer is funny (oh no, very sorry to hear about the husband, Rhonda, really), but because I'M SUCH AN ASS!!! Sorry, but how funny is the insertion of both feet into my cavernous mouth? Only I would start yackin' about how cute melanoma is next to someone whose husband died from melanoma. I'm chucklin' at my own ass-ness again now.

But, on a serious and very educational note, and so that you can avoid being an ass at your next cocktail party (see, I'm always thinking of others): "Melanoma brain metastases are the third most common type of brain metastasis after lung and breast cancer. They develop in a high proportion of advanced melanoma cases; they are clinically seen in 10 to 30 percent of patients with systemic melanoma, and in one autopsy series, incidence was as high as 50 to 73 percent. The median time to development of brain metastasis from the time of initial diagnosis is approximately 3.5 years." They generally radiate your brain and other unpleasant things and the survival rate is not high. So get those moles checked. http://www.skincancer.org/management-of-melanoma-brain-metastases-where-do-we-stand.html

The other good news today? Oh, yeah, I'm finally below 116 again -- 115.6. I can only conclude that the best diet plan for me continues to be going out and having a good time. Well, I can live with that. I might have to find new friends who can take my brand of humor, but I can live with it.