Pooped, lagged, and P90partnerless.

So I got home from Italy/France, after 21 hours of sitting on planes and in aiports, about 7pm local last night.  Was absolutely pooped in a figurative sense, and then stepped in a more literal version.  I somehow managed to step into a fresh bit of dog poop that my dog MAY have accidentally and completely innocently dropped on my kitchen floor.  Unfortunately, it was one of those deals where you don't see it, you step in it, and then you run around the house (yes, spreading it all over) going, "What smells like dog poop?  Why do I smell dog poop everywhere?  Oh shit."  So then I spent another half hour de-pooping my shoes and bleaching the hard floors and spraying sanitizer on the rugs until I can clean them more thoroughly.   Just what I wanted to do while exhausted.  My vacation is SO over.

Managed to get to bed early despite poop problem, but that was apparently a mistake, since my body was all BOOM, "welcome to wide awake," at 1:30 a.m.  I've already been to the bathroom, taken a Benadryl, watched the end of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre, and don't have much more to say, blog-wise.  That's not good.  Guess I'll have to watch the 1997 Ray Liotta thriller that's on next -- Turbulence is Airport with a bunch of in-flight murders and a really hard-to-believe ending where Lauren Holly, the scared-but-incredibly-brave flight attendant (can't call 'em stewardi any more, can we?) lands the plane.  OMG I hope I fall asleep before the dramatic ending.  And P.S., I've been overseas several times -- how come I never get the ginormous, 12-seat-across double decker plane with a cocktail lounge on the second floor and only a handful of passengers?  How do I get me a ticket on one of those, but with no snakes, serial killers, or engine problems?

Despite my scale photo from Paris (that big green thing did not work and seems to be a way for someone to collect 1E per idiot who thinks it might really work), I have no idea whether I maintained my weight over two weeks of eating yummy forbidden food with nothing more challenging to my fat than walking around old castles.  I don't think castle walking is any match for chocolate croissant consumption.  So, as much as I hate being healthy and working out, I'm gonna try to get back into the Bringin' It schedule this week.  BUT, my P90Partner, Ena, is now out of town for three weeks.  Double shit.  Can I bring it alone?  Doubtful, but we'll work something out.

And, in yet another free plug for the guys at Beach Body, Ena's husband Steve got back from Down Under about a week before I went overseas.  We showed Steve how swell it is to Bring It, and Steve jumped in and Brought It with Ena while I was gone, proving, yet again, that I CAN be replaced.  Steve likes it so much, that Steve and Ena bought another copy of P90X.  Dang!  Steve and Ena will eventually have to post a schedule to use their P90X (Bring it!) Studio.

Okay, gotta go -- the criminals have escaped and murdered the good guys, the plane has a hole in it (but Lauren plugged it up with a briefcase), the pilots are out of commission, and Lauren ("Terri") is already attempting to fly "the most sophisticated plane that has ever been built" into an "unsophisticated storm" with the assistance of ground control and a pilot busy flying another sophisticated plane.  Plus I think Ray Liotta is about to kill the mom from Child's Play (who is another, less-important flight attendant), because she knows too much.  Yep she's gone.