Forget White, I'm having an Orange Christmas.

Bless me Santa, for I have sinned.  I ate another entire box of cheesy orange goodness.  Not to mention an entire box of chocolates, a plate of sugar cookies, a pan of dark chocolate and caramel brownies, and a buttload of ginger snaps.  And I got another box of chocolates today.  JESUS people -- have any of you ever heard of Brussel sprouts?  Next year I'm starting a new tradition, where it is totally cool to give your friends and neighbors Brussel sprouts, broccoli and green beans (but not the casserole where the beans are swimming in cream of  mushroom soup), instead of cookies and chocolates.  You BASTARDS!

I haven't worked out in three weeks and I've given up weighing myself -- I'm sure it's going to be ugly, because I can feel the fat building up on my belly again.  Dang it!  And I worked SO hard for months to get not-fat.

Well, I guess that's what New Year's resolutions are for.


Have a super sweet Christmas!

tag

P.S.  PUT THE COOKIES DOWN, AND STEP AWAY FROM THE PLATE, MA'AM!

It's a Costco Christmas!

dimpled cheesey goodness at an unbeatable price

I've been a mostly nice girl this year (kinda sorta) and Santa and Costco have been bery, bery good to me.  First off, let's talk about a truly delicious and cheesey Christmas, because, yes, they had FIFTEEN blue boxes for only $11.  That's only like 75 cents a box!!!!  And like .00000005 cents per calorie!  Woohoo!  Sign my fat dimpled ass up for that show! 

And what's a trip to Costco without a white fluffy mOuNTaIn of tissues and toilet paper?  Yes, both tiny bathrooms of my home are now stocked to the rafters with recycled Earth First TP.  I am not kidding.  See more photos (cuz I figured out how to work my phone with the computer).

Now THAT'S some TP!  And there are two more stacks of it where that came from.  I'm good for a year or two.  Apocalypse?  Why not Now?

tater love

So what goes with 15 blue boxes and 36 rolls of white fluffy?  You guessed it!! -- It's a 20 pound bag of TATERS!!!!  What's for dinner?  Well, it ain't beef.

I'm so full up of Costco Christmas goodness, that I'm not even sad that they were out of the ONE item that made me drive my butt to Costco in the first place -- a new string of LED holiday lights, cuz one of the 6 that I bought a month ago is already toast and no amount of futzing with the stupid microscopic fuses has fixed it -- shouldn't happen, should it?  I think not.  Anyway, I've managed to cram all 15 blue boxes and 8 cans of green beans into cupboards with another 8 cans of diced tomatoes, but the TP stands alone, kind of (too bad it wasn't cheese -- standing alone...).  Hope everyone likes it as a decor item for a while. 

I'm now wishing that I'd done a Costco Christmas theme for my holiday letter:  "On the First Day of Christ-mas, my Cost-co sold to me...!" -- the material here is endless.  I haven't even touched on the 30 lifelike LED candles with 30 extra batteries and 100 hours of candle life per fake candle for only $15!  (They look awesome in my front window.)  Oh, you KNOW you want a set.  And the deal I got on golf skorts is CRAZY even if I don't golf for the next century.  Costco, I can't quit you any more than I can quit Target. 

Okay.  Back to business.  Am I skinny or squidgy or both?  I'd say both.  Have not been working out because Ena has back problems (so she runs like 12 miles, but can't Bring It with me, which means she can eat 15 blue boxes and still be skinny -- beeotch) and my sis and I have been too busy to Skype many serious workouts.  Plus my arms are still major itchy messes.  (Don't get me started.)  So I'm a squidge-meister.  BUT, until I start my mac-n-cheese marathon, I am still following Jackie Warner's advice, and it's no fluke -- I've kept the weight off for several weeks, whereas in the past it's come back in about 1/10th the time it took me to lose it.  So THAT's good.  Will officially have to change the blog banner.  Am considering something like "Who's squidgy NOW bitches!"  But I'll refine that.