The exorcism.

Technically, this exorcism took place before my last post.  As I closed my front door to go camping at WCL, I held my breath to avoid inhaling the fog of neurotoxins I had left for my Leetle Friends, the dozens of flies swarming in my living room and kitchen windows.  Leetle ba$tards.  I'm not sure when this started, but over the preceding 2-3 weeks I had noticed an increasing number of flies in my kitchen.  Didn't bother me much at first -- I leave my kitchen door open a lot so that the dogs can go in and out, and with potluck on Sunday nights and everyone going in and out, I get flies.  They seem to know when you are going to open the door and manage to zip in during the nanosecond that you part the curtain to go in or out.  They have ODR - Open Door Radar.  Again -- LBs.

But eventually I noticed an unusual build up of flies.  One night I had to light a citronella tea light while sitting in bed reading a book!  Okay, THAT's not cool.  And it's not normal.  So I started shutting the door more, and being pyscho-diligent about picking up the fresh dog poop out back.  But it didn't seem to help.  I even started cleaning up my normal messes -- no crumbs left behind on the counter, the floor, whatever, wherever.  Nothing was working.

When I came back from the Fool's Hollow trip and found a maggot on the floor of my kitchen, I decided to get serious.  In the course of vacuuming and bleaching my kitchen and bathroom floors, I found their evil breeding ground:  the very edge of my wool rug jammed up next to the kitchen cabinets and a tiny crack between the base of the cabinets and the floor.  I thought flies needed water to breed, but this was apparently some mutant breed of LBs that needed only dog fur, cooking crumbs, and wool rug.  So I spent hours vacuuming up  maggots, larvae and whatever that last cocoon stage is before they hatch, and then hitting the kitchen floor with ammonia, diatomaceous earth, and  bleach (not all at once, you understand).  

After this maggoty adventure, I was grossed out, but feeling a bit better about my chances with the demon swarm.  I had destroyed the nursery (Sigourney Weaver, Aliens).  Unfortunately, the adults were still here.  They were crafty LBs, managing to elude capture with my Eureka AirExtreme (although I DID get pretty good with it in the kitchen windows).  I foolishly thought that they would die quickly, because I've always heard that flies only live for like a day or two.  Wrong.  I looked it up and they can live for weeks.  Ouch.  And females can lay like 500 eggs in a single day.  Double frickin' ouch.  So after days of vacuuming up maybe 5-6 flies at a time about 10 times a day, I decided I was losing the battle of the flies.  And since I was about to leave town for two days and I didn't want them breeding with impunity in my absence, I needed to get rid of them fast.

This required a more efficient killing machine than the AirExtreme.  So a trip to WalMart was in order.   (I tried Target, but apparently Target shoppers don't GET fly infestations.)  WalMart, however, was a gold mine of fly-killing power.  Fly paper -- 4 rolls for $.99.  Check.  (I got three boxes.)  And I couldn't resist the clear peel-and-stick window trappers.  (The LBs LOVE windows, yes they do.)  I was about to walk away, thinking I was good, when I saw the spray.  A beautiful blue can of Raid for killing LBs.  Hmmm.  Did I really need it?  Why take chances.

So I zoom home with my new weapons and start my offensive on the Northern Front (the living room windows).  This required unrolling/untwisting four rolls of VERY sticky stuff.  And then promptly sticking my hair into one of them.  Ew.  Let me just say, that I'm glad I'm not a fly.  That is some sticky sh!t.  I was trying to work that day, so I thought I could just spot treat the hair with some shampoo and water.  Nope.  Two attempts failed.  I ultimately had to resort to Goo Gone on my hair.  Sigh.

When the fly paper in the front window (very attractive) wasn't producing immediate results, I turned to the spray.  And Raid did not let me down.  I don't know what evil kind of neurotoxins they put in that stuff, but it WORKS.  Indeed, you don't even have to spray the flies directly -- the residual stuff in the air will kill them for hours.  And if you spray the windows, I've found that the residual on the window will kill them for days.  Yes, that's some toxic stuff.

I thought I had gotten lots of them before I left, but to be sure, before I closed the door to leave for WCL, I sprayed all the rooms with a mist of the magical Raid LB killer.  Man, you would not believe how many LB carcasses I found when I returned on Sunday -- about 40 on the fly paper strips and another 60 victims in the kitchen and other areas.  At least 100 of the LBs.  FINALLY.  

I found only one survivor on Sunday, so I gave the windows another spritz to be sure, and have only seen one or two random LBs since then.  Whew.  Disgusting, I know, but yet another valuable life lesson.  I wish life would quit teaching me sh!t I don't want to know.

What else do I know?  I'm still shrinking.  I've been successful with treating my health issues by avoiding the dairy, egg and wheat and using CeraVe for my atopic dermatitis.  I'm sleeping better, I'm breathing better, my allergic rhinitis is virtually gone, and I'm dropping even more weight than I had ever planned.  I'm down to 104-105.  Wow.  Remember when I was thrilled to be at 110?!  I've worked through most of the cravings for dairy, etc.  And I finally got to the point where I've been able to skip the alcohol as well -- food allergist Dr. Braly recommends avoiding alcohol to let the intestines heal (alcohol makes the intestines more permeable, thus permitting larger food particles to pass into the blood stream, contributing to the allergic reaction).  And since I'm trying to shake some bacterial overgrowth (aka an infection) in the genital tract (gardnerella and strep B) and I continue to have sinus infections deep up inside my nasal passages, I figure it's a good idea to avoid the alcohol for a while and let my temple get all healthy.  Anyone who knows me knows how improbable this is -- I like my alcohol about as much as LBs like windows.  So I thought this was going to be really tough.  But, other than the first few days, I haven't been missing it that much.  I've been avoiding party atmospheres a bit, but I don't think even that is going to be a problem.  We'll see.  And speaking of C, Dr. Braly, my new hero, says that vitamin C helps with withdrawal and cravings for allergens and alcohol -- so how can I go wrong drinking Emergen C instead of champagne?  It seems to work well.  Not quite as much fun, but this is for my long term health and I am determined.  Once again, research and perseverance and a healthy skepticism of the accepted view that all doctors know everything has served me well -- literally!

So I continue to get healthier and accidentally skinnier, and now I can focus on the real excitement in my life, like exorcising LBs from my place of residence.  OUT damned spots!

I'm keeping the Raid handy for future infestations -- just in case.  Watch out LB's I'm armed.

P.S.  Hard to keep the house maggot-free when the backyard cat is killing birds and leaving parts and the two dogs, independently on different days, find the nasty leftover bird bits and decided to bring them into the house for a snack, maggots and all.  Again -- sigh.  I had to bury the remaining maggoty bird leg and some feathers in the 108F afternoon heat.  I need a condo on the 75th floor somewhere.  One that excludes pets.

Kayaks be me. And Lola. And Julie and Molly.

As planned, I took the doggies camping AGAIN.  This time we tried Woods Canyon Lake, which is an hour closer to Phoenix than Fool's Hollow, and a little higher, so it was actually cooler (got to wear long pants in July - yeah!) than our last trip.  And less windy.  Thank the Baby Jeezus for that!

So this trip was much easier -- two hour drive, I've already got the car half packed (because I left most of the stuff in the car from last time), and I'm all prepared with my new, front-yard-tested Alps Moutaineering tri-awning, which beat the Kelty medium Shadehouse structure all to Heck for ease of solo set up and functionality.  Met up with friend Julie and her dog Molly at the check-in hut around noon Friday and proceeded to set up. (Wound up setting up two separate and, it turned out, unnecessary, camp sites, because we thought another friend was joining us for Saturday night.  [They have a two car maximum per site.]  So I had this lovely HUGE camp site all to myself.  Well, me and the doggies, anyway.)

My first visitor?  A big ol' elegant elk.  She was beautiful.  And tall.  You can't really appreciate it in these photos, but she was a pretty tall girl.

So, once I got over the whole "Wow, there's an elk in my camp." thing, I set up all the shit.  The tri-awning is smaller in square footage than the Embark square shade, but the ability to set it up solo more that makes up for any size limitation.  In fact, it's so cool, that I ordered a second one (being shipped to me as I type) to set up next to it, and make a veritable domed wonderland!  WHO's got the most shade in camp?  That would be me.

Here's the WCL camp:

So that's the excitement for the first day/night.  Julie came over and we hung out and roasted marshmallows, which gave Lola (previously in my lap, but still tied to my chair) a chance to attack.  Under cover of darkness, Lola attempted to murder, or at least seriously intimidate, poor Molly, who had done nothing to deserve such treatment.  Fortunately, between Julie and the leash and the chair, we were able to wrangle the insane toy poodle into submission without any damage to Molly.  But Lola still gave Molly the evil eye and the occasional rabid-poodle-charge for the rest of the trip.  (I'd really love to know what kind of life Lola had for the 10 years before I got her.  She got issues.)

Saturday was yoga and go-to-the-lake day.  Gorgeous day, with fluffy clouds in the blue sky.  I hit the lake and tried my new solo sit-on-top inflatable kayak, which is not as fast as a regular kayak and more susceptible to wind, but oodles easier to transport and store.  And it was fun!

And Lola was a trooper again.  She's not a big water dog, but her fear of my permanent departure is so curiously strong (Altoid, anyone?), that she will risk death, or at least a little sun and water, to be with me.

Land-loving Lola on a break.

So it was a beautiful morning at the lake.  I saw a crawfish eat a small frog.  (I'd show you the photo, but all I got was a picture of a stick under water -- it was sunny and I couldn't see the screen, what can I say.)  And then a gorgeous blue heron came by to fish.  He was there again on Sunday too and was too cool soaring above the lake.

I got about two hours of exercise in (Did I mention it was NOT as windy as Fool's Hollow?  And I think the new kayak would be less susceptible to the wind than the inflatable row boat.) before heading back to join Julie and Molly for lunch.  

And then our friend Mary J. came by for a glass of wine and a long walk BACK to the lake (it's right around the corner by car, but is a decent hike on foot), so we got some exercise in before it began to rain.  The afternoon was just a light rain (with excellent lightning and thunder) and we were all dry under the tri-awning.  Mary headed back to Phoenix, Julie went back to her camp, and the doggies and I ate, and walked and read, etc. until marshmallow roasting time (there was a break in the rain just at the right time, so we burned the rest of our firewood).  And then the wind ushered in the serious rain, and it was time to head to the tents.  My new tent and awning got their first test by rain and passed with flying colors.  I couldn't even hear my ipod with all the rain noise!  Very nice.

Connor trying to get me up for his breakfast.

Lola and I trying NOT to get up.

I meant to yoga with the Ye again on Sunday morning, but stayed up too late reading The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (still didn't finish the frickin' thing), so I was tired when the Connor dog went off at 5 am and demanded a walk (which he got, but then I went back to bed and TRIED to sleep).  I finally gave up at 6:30 am and dragged Connor into bed with us in an attempt to shut off his continuous autobark feature. 

I didn't think we'd get any more kayaking in, but Julie was actually up for it on Sunday and she took Molly out and then I took Lola out for a spin on the lake before we packed it in and packed it up.

Here's Julie kayaking with Molly:

Molly seems to be more of a sea dog than Lola!

So that was it.  Or so I thought.  The last bit of excitement happened at literally the moment of my departure.  I was walking Connor to the car and couldn't figure out why he was walking kind of diagonally.  Until he collapsed, had a few seizures, and passed out.  HOLY SHEE-ITE!  I thought my beloved Connor Dog was dead.  Really and truly dead.  He was completely limp, he was not breathing, nothing.  I grabbed Connor and put him into the back of the car (had to throw Crazy Butt back into her front seat to get her out of the way, but she knew I wasn't messing around) and didn't know what to do other than give him mouth-to-muzzle.  And I don't know if the M-T-M worked, or if he would have come around anyway, but after what seemed like a long time (and was really probably 30-60 seconds), Connor came around, put his head up, and had a few more seizures, but at least wasn't dead!  Thank GOD.  The seizures stopped after maybe another minute.  I gave Connor's head a wet down to make sure he was cool, gave him a big bowl of water, which he did start drinking, and he was fine.  Connor was back home and trying to eat his own poop within a couple of hours.  Tragedy averted.  Man, that would have been a bad camping result.  I thought maybe he had a stroke, but my sister said it was probably low blood pressure combined with the altitude.  Makes sense -- I also have low blood pressure and was dizzy myself while de-camping with all the bending over and then standing up.

Anyhoo, that's it from kind-of-damp camp. 

And what up with the squidge, you ask?  Well, the squidge is disappearing at an alarming and highly-pleasing rate.  Since I stopped eating dairy, eggs and wheat (the V + M diet) and eating almost nothing but fruit, vegetables, and some meat, all the fat has just melted away and I'm down to 105.6.  Yep.  My fighting weight from the late 20s before I got all squidgy.  Wow.  How cool is that?  Only downside so far is I have to get new bras!  (As my GP told me years ago when I asked why my boobs were getting bigger: "Well, they're all fat, you know."  Thanks.  Beeotch.)  But, since I got rid of my eczema, rhinitis, weird skin issues and other food-allergen reactions, I started focusing on other things, and it turns out I have a chronic strep and gardnerella infection and maybe that accounts for my chronic fatigue.  Anyway, I decided that in light of those continuing issues, I would cave in and do what Dr. Braly (the food allergist who wrote the book that saved my life:  Hidden Food Allergies) recommends, which is to STOP drinking all alcohol for three months and use probiotics to heal my gut.  So instead of taking a bottle of champagne (I specifically bought a cooler tall enough to house a bottle or two), I drank my green tea and Emergen-C over the weekend.  In fact, I kicked off Alcohol Abstinence on July 5 (the 4th was out of the question).  I've already gone one week with no alcohol -- only three days short of my personal best  So I'm hoping that my immune system will come back to life and kick some bad bacteria ass.  Wish me luck.  Cuz I don't think it's going to be easy.  I mean really, my last and only vice?  Dang it.